There’s something about Oskar that’s been eating at me
through our week off. He explains things about his dad to other people in such
a matter-of-fact way that he sometimes seems to be disconnected from his
sadness. However, the deep-seated, unsettling, and frightening nature of his
loss pokes through at certain times and hits me like a ton of bricks. Oskar
makes a lot of comments about giving himself bruises, and this self-harm
reveals the deeper emotional issues that I find incredibly (sorry) sad and
disturbing. The worst part is that no one, not even his mother, really makes
any comment about the bruises. It reminds me that Oskar is dealing with
something horrible and tragic and is really only a child with no real idea of
how to handle his hurt.
I'm glad you brought up Oskar's bruises since we never ended up talking about this is class. I agree with you that the self-harm is disturbing (and we get a glimpse of others like the therapist concerned with Oskar being a threat to himself). Not to be too depressing, but I find it interesting that Oskar is a "bruiser" rather than a "cutter," which seems much more common in today's society. Oskar's self-harm is meaningful--it all goes back to Oskar's resolution after talking to the therapist. Oskar is adamant about internalizing and burying his feelings deep inside of him. His contusions reflect the deep, buried pain under the surface.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the internalization part of it. I used to do something similar when I got overwhelmed with emoition (bad test grade,bullying, mean comments, feeling lonely): I'd bit the webbing/area between my thumb and index finger, not enough to bleed but enough that the marks lasted for a while. Emoitional pain is hard to deal with b/c it hides and sneaks up on you when you don't expect it, and internalizing only makes it worse. So eventually I, like Oskar, let it out in controlled ways (scientist, remember?)to try and make sure no one else got hurt and only people who really cared would notice. Nowadays, when I feel like that I go for a run or write angst poetry, but I'm also an almost-18 year old who has a great and incredibly visible support system. Oskar on the other hand had a tripod:Mom Dad Grandma. One leg's gone, the other is off flirting/bonding with other table legs and Grandmas' dealing with her own issues. They're trying, but they're too far away from each other and themselves to help.
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting that Oskar does bury his feelings deep inside of him, where no one can see, but the bruises he inflicts on himself are on the outside. (Literally, on his skin). An interesting contrast- I suppose you can't really internally harm yourself, but that's almost his way of getting his feelings on the outside, just through a different means than words.
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